My Alcoholism & Recovery

I went to an AA meeting last night in my hometown. I visit my family and home town only once per year and normally only go to one meeting when I am here - generally to remind me how much I disliked AA here.

I tried to get sober here and I didn’t. I tried many times.

I got sober where I live now and generally find the meetings there preferable to the meetings here and I have often compared them - talking to people about how bad the meetings are here.

The meeting last night was good. I had decided that I would sit at the back and listen - maybe that is code for judge.

The meeting was great. The topic was fear. Last night it was brought home to me how much fear is still in my life, I start to miss seeing the fear and something else happens in my head after that. If I manage to see my fear more often my life is better.

I talked to some members before and after the meeting - the ghosts of my past started to fade. The memories I have about AA meetings here are just that - memories. My memories are not my current reality - God I don’t see that sometimes.

I am very fortunate to have people to listen to me, more importantly I am more fortunate to be able to listen.