My Alcoholism & Recovery

I have been angry since I can remember, forever…

And right now I am so fucking angry. Really angry, and I keep trying it seems to run away from tis feeling - maybe from all feelings.

I want to express my anger, I don’t want to push it back down again - I have been doing that over and over - it has not worked for me so far.

It feels like a big force inside me, energy.

Who is it directed at? Well my mother as usual. And that drives me nuts all over again - the stereotype of it all - my mother did not love me - and then the voice in my head says - so mummy didn’t love you, boo ho, get up and get on with it.

I am no longer running from my feelings. But it is tough. My natural reaction is to get rid of anger as soon as I feel it. However I have discovered that anger does not have the effects that I think it will have. I am still okay when I am angry.

I am still okay when I am angry.

I am still okay when I am angry.

I am still okay when I am angry.

I am still okay when I am angry.

People still love me and care for me when I am angry. I still deserve a place in the world when I am angry. I am okay when I am angry.

I want to feel everything and anger is part of me, I want to feel feelings, happiness and joy - if I suppress anger I suppress the rest of my feelings also. I am okay when I am angry. You are okay when you are angry.