My Alcoholism & Recovery

Looking after myself is something that I have learned to do. I was not very good at just after I got sober, I could wash, brush my teeth, eat okay; however I had no real value system in my life. Well I had, it had been drink and use as much as possible and try not to die.

But then there was no drink. What was important? One day someone, when I was talking about this, someone said to me - “your primary purpose is to stay sober.” God, I though, I expect something more from him than this AA bullshit.

A few years later, I concur. Being sober is the best thing in my life. Even taking away the fact that so many other things hinge on this, it is still the best thing in my life.

I woke this morning, no hangover. No need for valium to calm myself, or to be able to get out of the house. I went and had my coffee and cigarettes, and thought about my day ahead, what I was going to do; not just how I was going to get through it. I take being sober for granted. I expect it each day, not too long ago I was scared that I would drink every day. I ran to AA meeting in fear.

Now I go to AA meeting because, well sometimes because that is what I do, other times I feel like I need to be there, though that is less often now. I have learned to take care of my sobriety. I just go to AA meeting, all the time. If I need to go, if I don’t want to go; it is part of my life. I only go to about two meetings per week, and that seems to work okay, however I just go. It is a bit like jogging, it has to be done regularly to stay fit. My AA is like that.