My Alcoholism & Recovery

The thought of having to think when I was an active teen drinker…  well it just never happened, but here is what goes on now.

I hate making any large decision. I become very scared of what might happen. Many of my decisions in the past have ended up fairly crap, but not so much since I have stopped the drink. So what now? How do I make a large important decision?

• I want to work for myself.
• I want the security of working for someone else.
• I want to control when I work.
• I don’t want to fail if I decide to do this.
• Am I prepared to risk a fair amount of money and time on this new project?
• This new project only has a certain time frame.
• The over-ridding feeling I have is fear, that is always the way when I am in a position like this.
• I have never done this before, but I have done parts of it.
• Some friend agree that I should go for it others say take the safe option.
• What would I do if I was not me?

Often I find that I can talk something to death, in other words I talk about it so much that I just go off the whole idea. That has not happened with this, it has been in my head for the last year and now I find myself in the position that I have the time and money - but I am running scared.

No wonder I loved drink so much I did not have to think about stuff like this, life just happened to me - a cowards way out.

Time to flip a coin? Lend your experience and leave a reply.