My Alcoholism & Recovery

Discipline a word that I always hated. Really it just meant doing things that I did not want to do. When I look back at my life I avoided as much as I could anything I did not want to do. A bit childish I now think. Not being prepared to trade off those boring bits for returns else where. In fact my frustration would drive me mad if I had to take boredom for long, by choice.

However, life is life, and I always got the boring bits anyway - they mostly did not happen by choice, but when they were forced upon me.

I made a decision a few years back to become a bit boring, in my own eyes. The biggest change was a morning routine. I get up every morning. I set my alarm for somewhere around seven am, and I get up. I do not spend the day in bed, there is now no reason to hide away from the world.

This was not easy. All the discipline I had during my life was discipline that had been forced on me by authorities at some point - whether that authority was parent’s, teachers, employers, or others.

The biggest question I ask my self about any change like this is “is it good for me?” Well the answer to getting up in the morning is yes. I have more time, it feels like. I sleep better at night, and don’t now lie awake waiting for sleep to come and get me, I sleep well. However the biggest benefit is that I feel good about myself. Now that is something.